WHAT IS NARCISSISM?
The more separated parenting courses I complete with parents across Ireland the more I hear stories of
narcissism regarding an ex- partner. Based on the feedback I have received, it would appear there is an
epidemic of narcissism throughout the country.
Ten years ago very little was known about narcissism in Ireland and now it’s a common phrase used in
court as part of divorce or separation.
So what is narcissism exactly?
Narcissism is a personality trait characterised by an excessive preoccupation with themselves and their
own needs, often at the expense of others. People with narcissistic tendencies often have a grandiose sense
of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists put
themselves first, everybody else nowhere. In simple terms, narcissists minds work like connected
escalators in a shopping centre. One escalator elevates their own sense of importance while the other
escalator simultaneously brings/puts you down.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is not just a theory. It is a real mental health condition where
the presenting traits are more severe and persistent. People with NPD may:
Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance.
Believe they are superior to others.
Need constant attention, affirmation and admiration.
Expect special treatment.
Lack empathy for others.
Be envious of others or believe others are envious of them.
Be arrogant, haughty, or condescending.
A word of caution: it is important to note that not everyone who exhibits narcissistic traits has NPD. Most
people may display narcissistic behaviours occasionally throughout their life, but it becomes a concern
when these behaviours are persistent, harmful, and interfere with daily life. When you think about it,
aren’t most babies narcissistic, selfish and self-centred? Encouraged by parents, the whole world revolves
around them for the early years resulting in narcissistic traits continuing. It’s the parents responsibility to
ensure children grow up knowing that they revolve around the world, the world doesn’t revolve around
them.
If you or someone you know is struggling with narcissistic personality disorder, it’s recommended to seek
professional help. A mental health professional can provide support, guidance, and treatment options.
In another blog I will show you how to deal with a narcissistic ex-partner.
Pj Brennan