What is Coercive Control?
Since January 2019 Coercive Control has been a criminal offence in Ireland but
what exactly is it?
There was a phrase I heard as a young lad – “ the constant drip wears the stone.” Meaning
that repetition of the same negative action over time eventually has a wearing impact.
Coercive control is that constant drip in a toxic relationship. Coercive control is the
persistent pattern of controlling, coercive, and threatening behaviour by a current or former
intimate partner. An intimate partner does not need to be a sexual partner. It’s a form of
domestic abuse that can have a significant impact on a person’s physical and emotional
well-being. It can have a direct & indirect negative impact on all family members. Unlike
other forms of abuse, however, it can be very difficult to prove its actually happening &
can some partners be susceptible to false accusations.
Key characteristics of coercive control include:
Isolation: Keeping someone away from friends and family.
Financial control: Limiting access to money or preventing employment.
Monitoring, stalking and tracking: Controlling a person’s movements or online
activity.
Threats and intimidation: Using fear, violence or threat of violence to maintain
control.
Gaslighting: Making someone doubt their own memory or perception.
Irish legislation explains that behaviour has “a serious effect” if the “relevant person” – that is
an intimate partner – fears that violence will be used against them or if it causes serious alarm
or distress that has a “substantial adverse impact on usual day to day activities”.
This new law makes coercive control more serious precisely because it relates to tactics used
by an intimate partner – a spouse, non-spouse or civil partner – now or in the past.
As stated, coercive control can be very subtle and difficult to identify. If you or someone
you know is experiencing coercive control, it’s important to seek help. There are many
organisations that can provide support and resources.
Coercive control of a partner, past or present is wrong. False allegations are equally as
distressing. Men & women can be victims of coercive control.
Always remember theirs is help out their, if you’ve been effected by any of the above please reach out to us we’re here!
Pj – Beacon Parenting
